


Promise

by myxstorie



Series: 50 Fics: Jin/Kame/Ueda [1]
Category: Japanese Actor RPF, Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-14
Updated: 2009-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-10 05:58:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2013696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myxstorie/pseuds/myxstorie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>For Jinface, from <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/japanese_romeo/11681.html">these prompts.</a></i>
</p><p>What are you supposed to do when you can see the future? What do you do when you hold a terrible secret, a secret that eats you up inside, but there's no-one you can talk to?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promise

-

What are you supposed to do when you can see the future? What do you do when you hold a terrible secret, a secret that eats you up inside, but there's no-one you can talk to?

He might not really be able to see the future, but Ueda knew exactly what was going do happen over the next week, month, year - possibly even more than that. And Jin had sworn him to secrecy, practically got down on his knees and begged him not to say anything to anyone.

Koki would shout, Nakamaru wouldn't say anything, but his eyes would be enough. Junno, he'd smile and wish him good luck, and that would almost be the worst because he wouldn't be able to make it reach his eyes. It would be the worst, if not for Kame. Jin couldn't tell him how Kame would react - whether because he didn't know or because he couldn't bring himself to think about it, Ueda didn't know, but he was pretty sure the result would not be pretty. And he knew, when Jin sat on his sofa, pleading eyes glistening with unshed tears, he knew that Kame was the reason Jin wouldn't tell anyone. Ueda was the only one who would tell him to suck it up and do his best, and _mean it_.

Watching them now, Ueda regretted ever agreeing, every promising to keep his mouth shut. Watching Kame curl up closer to Jin's side, the other man's arm tightening around him protectively as they caught up on some much-needed sleep, he wished he'd been more forceful, changed Jin's mind before it was too late.

A small part of him wanted what they had, that companionship, that undeniable spark from the moment they'd first laid eyes on each other. He was content to be alone, didn't need the hassle a relationship brought. He'd seen it hundreds of times, the clingy girl, the long hours and arguments these inevitably brought, the disappointment at being kept hidden away, the messy breakup and months of worrying that she'd go to the tabloids that followed... No, he couldn't be dealing with any of that. But Jin and Kame had found each other, found something solid, something _real_ amongst the sea of makeup and costumes, of fake smiles and laughter, the pressure to be someone you're not. They had each other, and he couldn't help but envy that.

Kame relied on Jin. They relied on each other, and now Jin was leaving. Leaving the country, the band, but worst of all, he was leaving _Kame_. Leaving him alone to fend for himself, taking away that safety net, that comfort blanket and leaving him bare to take care of himself.

If he told Kame Jin was leaving, Jin would never forgive him. If he didn't, he couldn't even imagine what Kame would do.

-

That day came all too soon, faster than Ueda could keep up with. They'd all been so busy he'd completely forgotten that today was the day, that in a few hours they would be down to five for the forseeable future.

By the time he realised the date, the time, it was too late to worry about telling Kame before Jin left, because he was already gone. When they met later that day for work, Kame already looked smaller without Jin by his side, typing furiously on his phone - probably trying to find out where Jin was, why he was late for the meeting.

Then their manager broke the news, that Jin wasn't coming, and all hell broke loose. If Ueda thought the band's reactions would be bad, it was nothing compared to how it all played out. And of all the scenarios he had dreamt up, in none of them had Kame completely clammed up, staring unseeingly with his knees hugged to his chest. He only answered when spoken to, voice small and flat, but it was his eyes Ueda kept looking at, wide and glassy and so _lost_.

They ended the meeting early, on Ueda's suggestion, but Kame didn't seem to realise, not moving from his spot on the small sofa. Ueda's hand on his shoulder seemed to jerk him out of his trance, and he turned those heartwrenching eyes on the older man, gaze soft and questioning. What exactly he was asking, Ueda didn't want to know. He didn't think he could answer.

-

Ueda's house was deathly quiet when they arrived there later that day - while he knew Kame wouldn't do anything stupid, he didn't trust the other enough to eat or even sleep if he was left on his own. Kame hadn't said a word during the trip home, and even now just curled up in one of Ueda's huge overstuffed armchairs, staring at nothing in the darkness, a shadow of his usual bubbly self.

Kame said nothing when Ueda left him alone, said nothing when Ueda reappeared with tea, and just stared at him when Ueda knelt down in front of him.

Then Ueda reached out, only a hand on Kame's cheek, and he crumbled. The smooth mask slipped, revealing shining eyes that valiantly held back tears, his mouth twitched, and when Ueda lifted Kame's tiny frame up and into his lap, holding him close, it was all over, Kame reduced to a complete mess in his arms.

He cried, sobbed until he choked on his own breath, fingers clutching at handfuls of Ueda's shirt as he pressed as close as he could get. Ueda just held him tighter, one hand cradling the back of Kame's head, the fingers gently caressing his hair, with the other arm locked firmly around him. He could feel Kame's tears on his neck, soaking through his shirt, and still Kame cried. Even when there were no more tears left, he coughed and whimpered, hiccupping breaths catching in his throat.

As he calmed, Ueda continued to stroke through his hair, the thumb of his other hand rubbing softly over the skin of Kame's hip where his shirt had ridden up. When Kame looked up at him, face so desolate and lonely, so torn apart, Ueda felt something in him break, overcome by such unbelievable sorrow it hurt to swallow around it.

In that moment, face red and blotchy, moonlight illuminating the tear tracks on his cheeks as he sniffled quietly, struggling to draw in even breaths through parted lips, Kame had never looked more beautiful. Ueda couldn't tear his eyes away from those lips, so soft and pink, practically inviting him to taste them...

The kiss was slow, chaste even, just Ueda's mouth capturing Kame's bottom lip for a split second. Then Kame was pressing even closer, arms winding around Ueda's neck and kissing him deeper, harder, like the only thing he wanted in the world was Ueda, Ueda's tongue in his mouth, his hands holding him steady, keeping him afloat.

That night, Ueda made another promise, to himself.

Kame's heart was on that plane, on it's way to America, and Ueda was going to do whatever he could to fill that empty space it had left behind with something warm and joyous, something uplifting that would keep Kame going until it came back. He was falling hard already, with Kame wrapped around him like this, so desperate for affection, but the only thing he could do to stop it - let Kame suffer alone - was something he knew he could never bring himself to do.

Jin's return might break his heart, but Ueda knew he'd suffer through heartbreak for any one of them, and if he was given a second chance, he'd do it all over again.


End file.
